In times of constantly changing “ideal” body types it’s very hard to stay true to oneself and especially stay true to ones body. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about. When I was 14, I was in this hard self-discovery process, like every other teenager. You try things, you suddenly has another sight of the things and you are just grow up. Characterized by the social media world, these doubtful ideals of beauty, where the body is anything but feminine and under pressure of the society, I get thinner and thinner. I didn’t want to become female, I didn’t want to become boobs, hips and booty. Lastly all the models and it-girls arround this world haven’t got any curves. So I didn’t want to fall out of the ordinary and just adapt this stupid ideal of beauty. I’ve worked out two times a day and just ate vegetables and fruits. It was a pretty hard fight against myself. It became so bad that my parents want that I visit a clinic for a eating disorder.
Some day I reached that point where I thought this ideal of beauty is everything else than beautiful. A size 0 was terrible for me. Photography helped me to shake away my coyness, as I’ve already told you HERE photography helped me also to get away from these foolish ideally of beauty.
It were these wonderful, old movies with Marylin Monroe and Co. which shown me, how attractive a feminin body can look! By and by I’ve accepted my body curves and learned how to feel good in my body. Yes, if you photograph a body unbecoming, like these paparazzi do it to get more publicity for a vip – it can look very bad. But there are two sites to every coin: you can put every body type in the limelight, so everybody can really look more than beautiful! You just have to know how. But that’s another topic. Well, when I felt good in my body another problem came accross…
I was always the shy girl, the catutions one who hasn’t got an own opinion and the girl who you can’t take seriously. The people often whispered about me, because I didn’t want to laught – fake like the others – about their miserable jokes and because I didn’t had the same opinion about topics. I always was the misfit and didn’t belong to the majority. I think because my childhood wasn’t always easy and pink and all my experience I just grow up faster than them. I have to grow up faster. But doesn’t mean that I don’t like that. I had the option to live in my own flat since I’m 17 years young and I had the change to built a life like I want. My life. I had to take the charge of my own life very early. I had to assume responsibility for everything that I did and for the person that I am today. I had to learn to accept myself like I am and to love myself. You know, if you don’t love yourself, you transfer it to your environment and you get open to attack. You have to take care that you don’t get devoured in this big shark tank full of envy and ill will. Anyway you can’t really not expect from another person to love you, if you don’t even love yourself. That’s one of the best things I’ve ever learned.
This way wasn’t easy every time, no. But it’s the best step in your personal future to make peace with your spirit and your body. If you accept yourself like the way you are, nobody can bring you down! If you love yourself, you will do everything with love – okay epect the maths excercise – but I think you know what I mean. Nobody else will live your life, nobody will feel your feelings and nobody else than you will write your exams. But it lies in your hands, if you accpect and love yourself! Don’t be stupid and believe in yourself!
What do you think about this topic? 🙂 XX, Christina Key ♥
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